Don't Fall in the Trap of Loneliness—Marry Someone Who Deserves You

Don't Fall in the Trap of Loneliness—Marry Someone Who Deserves You Some of our favorite kings of old seemed to write the loneliest of poetry. Some of the Ecclesiastes Solomon wrote in the Tanakh were downright brutal in their observations about how life is vanity.

It may well have been that Solomon had so many wives, he just never actually had time to connect to any of them on a deeper level. That's what love is about really. Solomon also wrote earlier on that a good and noble woman is worth more than treasure.

And that's the point. Anyone can get married. Anyone can fall in love. Anyone can reproduce and start a family. But not everyone that does this is happy. A man or woman can be in want of heart and still project success to the world. How many lonely married people do you think there are in the world? Probably more than that!

The best thing to do then, is to find someone that you connect with. Not just someone you respect for their abilities and good looks, but someone that displays honorable qualities.

Who is My Ideal Mate?

An ideal mate is usually not the perfect man or woman. He or she doesn't even have to score high in all the "points" of dating skills. Rather, this person has the qualities that matter. They make you happy most of the time, whether because of their good humor, their kindness to children and strangers, and perhaps most importantly, their loyalty to family, to community, and to their faith or culture.

The best man or woman for your future isn't always the most attractive person. They're not always the most successful. However, you can feel the difference when you're in their presence. They give off positive energy. They speak highly of everyone they know, always helping to keep things friendly.

They have confidence, but more of a deep inner confidence that comes from "doing" not pretending. They're living life to its fullest. They're not just making money for themselves, but help others and do more for their community where they can.

This person is also kind to orphans, widows and parents. When he/she meets your family everyone is wowed. They just love the person to pieces! These are the qualities that matter.

So many things we have in life come and go. Business fluctuates, friends fizzle in and out, and our own attitudes and opinions change over time. However, when you actually meet someone that you love, you want to grow with them. It's not a matter of changing them or them trying to change you.

Instead you just want to grow with them and change your views naturally. Maybe this person challenges you. They don't kiss up, they don't say dishonest things. They talk to you with respect and are always showing their compassionate side—in what they do every day, not just what they talk about in public.

When you join a Jewish dating site you aren't wasting time chatting online. You are researching your future spouse and are making an educated guess. Leave nothing to chance—plan instead. Take control and make sure your marriage is a fun, rewarding and passionate union for the ages.