Tips In Finding a Good Jewish Mate

Posted by | April 27th, 2018

Whereas it's easy to find someone in your city to date casually, finding someone you really trust is one of the most challenging life goals. It's the kind of thing that fosters many books, many life coaching courses, Jewish dating apps, and of course, the word of your doting parents.

Yes, it's true that nowadays you have at your fingertips unprecedented technology that can help you find your match. The real question is, however, what do you want? Should you take the advice of your parents and marry a certain type of guy or girl—so as long as he's Jewish? Does the fact that he or she supports your faith and have the same beliefs guarantee that you'll have a happy marriage?

Not necessarily. You will have a marriage built on a more solid foundation, if you marry within the Jewish community. This is not only honorable but practical. When two people have opposite goals and opposite perspectives of what the future holds, they tend to drift apart. This can cause serious rifts in the marriage and it's especially damaging to the family if you have children.

What Tradition Says

According to King Solomon, the value of a "good wife" (or "good husband for that matter) is more valuable like fine jewels and corrals. Solomon's idea of love was warped. He believed that by multiplying wives he could find an ever greater happiness. But his foolish decision only ensured his misery and later on, his falling out of favor with divine approval.

This teaches us that today, real happiness is not about proving yourself as a confident person and having a dozen friends with benefits. Nor does it come from experimenting with every sexual quirk that's popular just because the media glorifies it.

Real happiness comes from making a real connection with someone and sharing with that person. Sharing your memories, your hopes and dreams, your family rituals, and your future children. These are the things that will matter to you in the long-term, not a variety of short encounters that you forget just as quickly as they happen.

Best Tips to Remember in Finding "The One"

When it comes to narrowing down your search, try to look beyond appearances. Don't pay attention to merely good looks and merely financial security. Ask yourself is the person kind? Are they compassionate and good to their extended family? Do they respect the community and try to make a difference where they can? These are signs that the person has good character and that's what you want to build a marriage on.

When you do search for an eligible date, start by choosing among Jewish singles who have a good reputation. Pay close attention to what they say in chat and in profile descriptions. When you meet in person, pay attention to how he or she speaks of his family and what his life goals are. What experiences have shaped their lives? What life lessons has he or she learned? If your date seems shallow and mostly interested in flirting and sex, it's obvious there's not a balance. Marriage is to be taken seriously. Divorce is expensive but heartache lasts a lifetime.

Be smart and methodical when making this decision and move at a comfortable pace. Let your instinct be your guide but let the wisdom of others guide you towards lasting happiness.